Thursday, May 3, 2012

Mr. Leaf


The Leaf

The veins spread 
the leaf like it has
a disease

The spikes are

just like a monster trying

to hurt someone

The greenness is

getting tinted a yellowy brown
colour as Autumn has sent its
invite to stay for a while  

The leaves are the
puppets and the wind
is the controller
Felicity Johnstone
10 years   

This is my leaf in a bush, I thought that it would have been a good idea to do it in a bush because it has green for the background and the leaf used to be green until Autumn sent its invite and they changed colour. 

This is the tree where my leaf came from.

This is my leaf poem on a big piece of paper and it was died yellow and red [ the Autumn colours ]
WALT: observe and include specific details in our writing
SUCCESS CRITERIA

SELF ASSESSMENT
Includes four nouns (from observation)
                 :)
Made the nouns do something
✔✔
 Started each new description on a new line
✔✔
Extended each line so it makes more sense
(may include a who, where, why, what, when).
                  :)
  If you click on the word Vocaroo it will take you to where I recorded my poem.

9 comments:

  1. Great floss

    What did you like the most about writing the poem?

    Was it hard thinking of the NOUNS? Great poem I also like that you put the voice recorder on your post too!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I liked the last two verses, what did you like the best? No it wasn't hard to think of the NOUNS it was all in my note book so it was easy for me, was it hard for you to find the NOUNS?

      Delete
  2. Good job, I like how you put the dye on the leaf.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Amazing Floss
    I love your poem I thing the first verse is the best.
    My poem is the best I done what about you?

    ReplyDelete
  4. Stunning fossie
    I love your poem you painted an awesome picture what's your favourite part

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All of it, what was yours?

      Delete
    2. Cool Floss.
      That poem really sounds like Autumn.
      I love the words that you used.
      Great work.
      WELL DONE:)

      Delete
  5. Awesome Felicity
    I loved you poem and how you put in lot of interesting word.

    ReplyDelete